Nov 28th, 2007 by toryssa
Today has been… well. A day.
I got an email from the ex-in-laws and a money transfer for $100. Hopefully that’d do for a Christmas present for the Kid, they said, because you know, life is just so busy.
It made me feel like shit. Because, money? Money. Fuck money. I don’t have any, but the Kid has no idea. He doesn’t need, or want, a damn thing that he doesn’t have. Except maybe a quad, which he’s been saving for since the day he could speak… and frankly he’d likely have one if I wasn’t terrified of him astride one. Maybe another kid, a kid with some semblance of self preservation. That is not my kid.
Again, he is not lacking in material things. He is, however, lacking very much in paternal things. He needs grandparents that aren’t too fucking busy to think about their only grandchild once a year. And on a stupidly petty, but I can’t help thinking it, note: These people have holiday homes on tropical islands, go on multiple extended international holidays every year, get a new BMW annually… a hundred dollars?
I just thought they were cooler. I thought that even though their middle child happens to be a bust, they were better. I thought they would always be around, not peter out after a couple years.
Perhaps it was inevitable as I’m not married to their kid anymore. But in general, I feel like the people that I thought were on my side… they are lessening in legions lately. I’m starting to get a complex. Physically being alone is one thing, and it’s alright with me, but I don’t feel alone very often. And that’s less alright with me. It’s all rather vulnerable making, and I don’t do vulnerable well.
All this expression of FEELINGS is making me uncomfortable. I don’t do the sharing of feelings well, either, apparently. But I’m pretty sure that is right in line with the vulnerability thing.
6 Responses to “Blech.”
It’s sad that they’re kind of falling of the radar, I’m sorry about that. You, my dear, are an awesome mom and for people not to acknowledge that (in any way)… angers me.
But, it’s not the money.. no. You’re right. I’m telling you, I would love to have the chance to hang with you and your kid, any day. Because you are just too cool, and I know that your boy must be a sweet little dude to hang with.
I’m sorry they won’t have the pleasure of HIS company. Their loss, IMO.
It always amazes me the amount of people who think that money is the answer to everything…your right, he deserves to have his grandparents. But they are simply just to busy, and thats to bad, for them. Because they sure don’t know what awesomeness they are missing in him!
Gosh I’m glad I don’t know that feeling… it sucks I’m sure :( I’m sorry that they aren’t more attentive, because lets face it, the kids want the grandparents way more than any present. I’m lucky that my soon to be ex-MIL have such a great relationship and she adores my son. I couldn’t imagine it any other way. Your son will soon realize the people that they are, and he’ll be happy that he has such a great mom in you.
Hey, I’m on your side!
BTW
WTF is a “quad”?
OMG, Tory. (Forgive any bad spellings…on a new laptop.) I just wanted to say that when we separated a long, long time ago, his family was on my side. Then suddenly? No one was. It’s like they use your actions to prove their point, when you’re only *re*acting to them! And anyone who knows me, knows I cannot stand that crap. I’m so sorry…but believe me, I know exactly how you feel…if that makes you feel any better. xxxooo
I’m sorry Tory, that just sucks.
I have no relationship with my MIL, and apparently she sees my boys as an extension of me, because she ignores them as well (she lives 5 minutes away, but has seen my 15 month old son just one time his entire life). You can ignore me, or do or say whatever you want to me, but don’t f*ck with my kids - they mean everything to me, and I will NEVER forgive you for hurting them.
Your ex-in-laws should be ashamed of themselves for letting Duncan slip out of their lives :-(