May 21st, 2008 by toryssa
… when someone that has seen you naked says, “I thought you looked a bit familiar.” Christ. Nothing like knowing you are unmemorable for a big fat ego boost on a weekday afternoon. It would have been a little less awesome had it been my old gynecologist rather than an ex-lover. Someone who sees so much vagina that it’d be impossible to remember it all. That is unlikely a plausible excuse in this most awesome of moments, however.
… when you tell someone that the thing is, is that there isn’t five hundred dollars in your bank account that wasn’t there yesterday, no matter how many times they say that it was refunded. Making it more awesome is when they say, “Well. Sorry about that.” with a certain finality of not caring. At all. Or, we could just go back a bit further and say awesome is… being conned into spending five hundred dollars for something that you don’t actually need. And? Previously having paid for the “advice” that told you that you DID need it.
8 Responses to “awesome is…”
Hope your money is deposited STAT! Dishwasher?
Ex-lovers suck! He clearly couldn’t appreciate all the hot sex! Good thing it’s an ex!
Aww sweetie, I bet your vagina is MOST memorable! He was just a jackass!
Bitch till the money is deposited!!! Use the words “consult with my lawyer” - that always helps.
A REAL man N-E-V-E-R forgets ANY woman that was willing to “submit to his carnal desires”, and I personally N-E-V-E-R, EVER forget a ‘vertical smile’… (I know, I know, a bit crude, but I’m simultaneously a Chivalrous Gentleman AND a ‘let’s do it in the dirt and make some Love Mud’ kinda guy) :b — (only a FOOL tells her that he has forgotten/ barely remembers her…)
I HATE/DISPISE/ABHOR/LOATE etc…The current methods of “doing business” - READ: MASSIVE DECEPTION. The ’services’(and “warrantees”) offered by MANY of these companies are like a Chinese Finger Trap: Once you stick your finger (your money) in, you can’t get it back(SWEARING LOUDLY at them often makes you feel ALOT better,although it rarely gets your cash back any faster,but sometimes it helps…) Also, the Banks which propagate and perpetrate these situations and transactions, are borderline CRIMINAL in this, it’s like legalized theft, and their buddies in the senate/house benefit from it DIRECTLY , so why would/should they do anything to stop it! —– Ahhh I feel much better now….
p.s.: AWESOME is a chick cool enough to talk about a ‘Fooper’ one day and “the Mighty Quimm” the next!! (you know the song: “come on without ,come on within, you’ve not seen nothing like the Mighty Quimm”) (by the way it is the STRONGEST POWER in the UNIVERSE!) (and yes, I KNOW I’m ‘Mad’!) Hahaahaa Haaaaaaahhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :)
A bit familiar? He sucks.
Strangely, I have never had any desire to be a gynecologist. I wonder why …
It’s the Mighty Quinn. Perhaps you knew and were joking, but it’s Dylan…and tomorrow is his birthday. (Happy birthday, Bob.) Toryssa…don’t get too bummed out just because some guy is a complete jerk. Because as all your readers know…you rock.
Mike,it was (Mighty) QuiMM on PURPOSE (google it…)…. I KNOW it’s QuiNN… (I’ve been listening to Dylan since I was bornnnnnn. Blood on the Tracks is oneof my all time Favs. My Mom wore a groove in the album playin it somuch when it came out…)