Jul 23rd, 2008 by toryssa
One of the great things about summer is all the outdoor fruit and vegetable stands. I really, really love them. They aren’t especially cheap, nor do they have the best quality produce… but there is definitely something to shopping outdoors. It’s lovely.
I was at one the other day picking through the peaches along side a tall, great looking guy. A guy without a ring, because I look for that sort of thing. I smiled, he smiled and started up a conversation. We talked of inconsequential things in a friendly sort of manner that made me think, so this is how you meet people. One wouldn’t necessarily think of asparagus as a seduction tool, but indeed… He didn’t know what to do with it, I said that it’s great on the grill. He said he’s got a grill and maybe I could come over and show him? I am envisioning wild outdoor sex (because I’m a 15 year old boy on the inside) and thinking how our story will begin at a fruit stand (because I’m also a 15 year old girl on the inside).
We made our way to pay, still maintaining the banter. Then he turned to the cashier and said, in a horrible derogatory voice, “Let me keep the box, the wife’ll need it for one of her projects.” He turned back to me, charming smile and all… as if what? I would jovially make fun of his WIFE and then come by while she’s out?
Are you fucking kidding me?
8 Responses to “fruit & veg”
I shop at outdoor fruit and vegetable stands, and I don’t have a ring or a wife . . . too bad I am 2,200 miles away and old enough to be your grandpa. Damn!
Well, the first two paragraphs were very romantic. Guys like this give the men a bad name. Damn him.
Na-uh! He did not say that!? WTF? I would have shoved his asparagus where the sun don’t shine, I swear I would.
P.S. I don’t trust married men that don’t wear a wedding ring. Unless they have a job that makes it dangerous to wear one, of course.
Oh man… That sucks.
So did you go by when she was out? And how was the sex with asparagus? I have never used veggies… :)
hmmm sex with asparagus…not enough girth for my liking. What a tool! His wife is a lucky lucky bitch to claim that one…
Not sex WITH asparagus, you dirty people! I’m not personally a big fan of food in bed, it always sounds like a great idea… but it’s not. Also, I’m phobic about bed bugs.
Nothing like a little mind fuck, eh? … WHADDA SCUMBAG. (unless he was trolling for his bi-wife….) and asparagus, asparagus? THAT was the BEST he could do? Jeez…. Have fun in Montana!!