Duncan has moved on from the why stage. That’s a good thing, because why? after every. single. thing. you say is really and truly annoying.

But do you want to know what is worse?

GUESS.

No. Literally. It goes something like this:

Duncan: What does the inside of that house look like?

Me: … what? I have no idea, I’ve never been in there.

Duncan: Guess.

Me: No. I don’t want to guess. I don’t care.

Duncan: I guess that they have green walls. Now it’s your turn.

Me: Duncan. I don’t want to guess.

Duncan: GUESS! I guessed, now you have to.

Me: I guess they have red walls.

Duncan: Hmm. Maybe. But I bet I’m right.

Me: Maybe.

Duncan: No. I’m right. I win. Your guess is stupid.

Me: Duncan, I HATE this game.

Holy shit. It’s WAY WORSE than the why’s… not only is it ridiculous to begin with, but he is so fucking competitive that it always ends with me being the dumbass. I try very hard to answer questions with an “I don’t know” but that’s not even a guarantee.

Duncan: I see a rainbow.

Me: Yeah, look at that.

Duncan: Where does it end?

Me: It looks like it ends near those trees.

Duncan: Do the leprechauns really hide their gold at the end?

Me: Some people say that they do.

Duncan: But do they? Are leprechauns even real?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve never seen one… have you?

Duncan: Guess.

Me: Duncan!

Duncan: I guess that there are no leprechauns. You’re turn.

Me: Ok. I don’t think leprechauns are real either.

Duncan: That was MY guess. You can’t steal my guess. You have to say something else.

Me: Jesus Christ, kid.

Duncan: GUESS.

Me: I think somewhere along the line some people really did believe that leprechauns existed.

Duncan: … That’s not even a real guess. Anyway. I’m right. There aren’t really leprechaun’s.

Me: I. HATE. THIS. GAME.

Duncan: Ok. You don’t have to make any more guesses today.

Duncan: Unless I forget.

Duncan: I’ll probably forget.

Sometimes I just refuse, I tell him I’m not speaking to him any more. He’ll just keep the conversation going, coming up with guess after guess, and keep asking what mine is. We end up in a ridiculous YES/NO match and finally I give in… because I remember that I’m not six, and shouldn’t act so regardless of how fucking annoying 6-year-old boys can be.

Just for the record, six year old boys can also be extremely charming and highly entertaining. And mostly I think my kid is both of those things. Just not when he’s forcing me to play a stupid fucking game I can never, ever win on topics that I just don’t care about.