Sep 25th, 2008 by toryssa
I need to talk about money again. This time it’s less of a poor, poor Toryssa post and more of a fucking banks post.
I’ve recently opened a new checking account. New bank is more convenient and also? They offered me $101, a deal I couldn’t refuse. Old bank told me they’d cut me a check for the remaining balance, for only a small fee. I don’t have any checks, or I’d write myself a check and be on my merry way. But paying for my own money? I can’t do it. It doesn’t even seem legal.
So, I’ve been shopping. As you do. A couple Christmas presents for the Kid, a whole lot of yarn (knitting season is upon me, and it’s making me giddy!) I figure if I can’t get it back, I might as well just spend it.
Tonight I was at the local natural market buying essentials such as almond butter and bread. Duncan, after fucking with it so much, managed to tip my cart over. What ensued was a smashing bloody mess. So much fun, I’m surprised we weren’t kicked out immediately. Eventually we went to pay but my card was declined.
What? This is worse than getting up to the cashier and realizing your wallet is at home. This is worse than realizing you don’t have enough money with you (I don’t know this for sure, as neither of those things have ever happened to me. But I’m pretty sure). It’s worse, because you DO have money and you CAN find it, but for some reason it just won’t fucking work.
Luckily I shop at this market enough that they told me just to bring the money next time I came. Thus making my humiliation a non-issue. I got to the car and went to call the bank, but then I remembered that I haven’t charged my phone in at least a month.
When I finally did call they said, “You’re recent transactions don’t really fit with your previous transactions, so we put a hold on your account in case your card had been stolen.”
Come again? Is this bank taking liberties left and fucking right, or is it just me? And honestly, what kind of burglar shops for toys and hand painted yarns? If one were risking prison, you’d think they’d go down with more of a badass spree. They’d buy coke and prostitutes. Or something.
It’s all up and running again, apparently. At some point it’s going to be me in a minimart trying to find something that costs exactly $2.81. That might be a slight pain in the ass, but the principle people. I will not pay for them to “cut me a check”. Who even talks like that anyway?
On a completely unrelated note, if you bake at all, even a little tiny bit, you should commence in making Chocohotopots immediately. Seriously. So fucking delicious. Sometimes people say things are better than sex… I’ve never really agreed with that statement, but these might come close. That, or I’ve just been having really shitty sex lately. Either way. Good stuff, yo.
7 Responses to “One more”
I can’t see paying for my own money either. But I do agree, if someone stole your card, wouldn’t they buy high ticket items like TV’s and shit? Probably a good thing you did change banks afterall. Go pump $2.81 worth of gas..won’t get you much, but it will use your money.
I don’t get why they would charge you for your own money. You can’t just do a cash withdrawal? That is bullshit.
Wow, that’s a crazy bank story. My credit card company called me once because they thought that my transactions were erratic, and that my car may have been stolen, but I can’t understand them freezing your account. That’s dumb. I liked being considered erratic, for a moment or two.
You need some better sex. Some mind blowing, sit up against the wall afterwards saying “Holy Shit” over and over type sex! ;)
I work for a financial institution and I think the “fraud detection” stuff really sucks. There’s no way a computer can spot “irregular” activity the way a human can, but as soon as the banks install that software, the humans stop paying attention and just do what the computer says to do. It’s really dumb and I’m sorry you were impacted.
Nu-uh? Banks are stupid, aren’t they.
I make those chocopots all the time. I even went out and bought red ramekins to make them in. I think you can compare your yarn fondness to my kitchen gadget fondness. Both expensive but SO worth it.
soapbox supastaar-fuckin’A right (and that’s all I’ll say… :P:P:P…) = Now ,on banks, oh don’t EVEN get me started. FUCKING SCUMBAGS, and they PROVED it again with the whole Mortgage mess. Legalized Theft to make you PAY to get your own money. That bank deserves to find a ‘well placed’ pile of poop on it’s doorstep in the A.M. …. and the ‘fraud protection’? that is ONLY ONLY ONLY to protect the bank, and force you to keep the cash IN the bank an extra day or two, and if anyone BELIEVES it’s for THEIR (the customer’ protection), I have some really nice ‘Lakeside Property’ in Death Valley that I’d like to sell you……… read: GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY ACCOUNT and let ME decide if a charge is fraudulent!! -call me AFTER you approve the transaction, if you ‘must’, but if you make me look stupid in a store, or STRAND me away from home because I can’t get gas? Oh Yeah, I’ll embarrass your banker ass when I come in to DEMAND an apology, and be SURE the other customers know my displeasure while I balance my account out.