If you’ve got something to say you can email fancytoryssa @ gmail.com, and I’ll be the one that responds.

You can buy my love, or at least a piece of it, here.

I have a six year old son. He keeps me well entertained.

I am almost always home by dark. Becoming a mother has made me LAME.

I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue.

I love Wikipedia. I used to have a friend that was like a walking Wikipedia, he made me feel smarter just for knowing him.

I love coffee. Did you know that fresh roasted coffee has some 900 flavor elements?

I also love tea. A proper cream tea makes me kind of giddy with excitement.

And the salted edge of a great margarita.

I can’t stand people that sigh all the time. Nothing is more irritating than the martyr syndrome.

I live in Western Washington. I have always lived here, except for brief stints in the UK, Wisconsin and Montana. All seemed like really good ideas at the time.

I knit.

I have a garden.

Both of those things make me feel like a dork, but there you go.

I love books. Just about all of them. I read often.

I love Tom Petty. And Green Day. Both have very good connotation for me.

I have no goldfish. I am a well intentioned, but none-the-less, fish killer.

I have a cat named Charlotte. She has nothing to do with the lack of fish.

I love the movie Mermaids.

I don’t shower every day. I could say that it’s because I like to think of myself as a water conservationist, but really, my hair looks best the two days after I wash it.

I rarely shave my legs in the winter.

My toe nails are always painted red.

It annoys me when there is no author photo in a book.

I buy cheap paint brushes because I am terrible about properly rinsing them when I am finished.

I got Tivo and started watching an absurd amount of crap television. If asked I will still say that I hate reality television and do not watch it. Even though I kind of might. Sometimes.

Listerine is painful. Not the good kind of pain.

I hate working (but I really do love my job). I cannot fathom people that say that they would work even if they won the lottery. It’s a very dull person that couldn’t keep themselves happily occupied with millions at their disposal.

I put a lot of stock in being entertained. Sometimes it’s the only redeemable quality a person has.

My Mom and Grandma used to call me “Little Socialist” as an endearment when I was a child. They are staunch conservatives. Now that I’m an adult, they don’t think it’s cute any more. I try not to talk politics with them.

I got my labret pierced seven years ago. I still love it.

I have one tattoo.

I am almost endlessly amused by the word yo. Add it to the end of just about any sentence and I find it funny.

I’m not a big fan of “people”. That makes me think that the people I do like are pretty special.

I think that I am far funnier than other people do. I laugh at my own jokes. And I appreciate other people that laugh at their own jokes, too.

I laugh a lot and easily. I don’t take myself all that seriously.

World news scares the shit out of me. Everyday I vow to never read it again. I always do.

Bush especially scares me. He’s so creepy. I don’t understand how someone could have voted for him and call themselves informed.

I like myself. That fact can’t really be taken for granted, as not everyone does.

I am not a writer, but I am fascinated by great writers.

If I were a Queen, instead of a Jester I would have a Storyteller.

I like to be read to.

I like people that smell good. I tell people if I notice they smell especially good. I don’t mean it in a creepy way, but it sometimes seems to freak people out.

My most favorite book is The Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving. I love John. I’m concerned that he’ll die, or never write another book, and I’ll never be able to read John for the first time again. I have his latest book, next to my bed, but I haven’t started it… and have no intention of doing so until another one comes out.

I am over lemon meringue pie.

I love makeup. It’s FUN!

I’m an only child. I didn’t hear No much as a child. It still kind of shocks me to hear it now.

I drink a lot of water.

I pee a lot.

I think brown eyes are sexy. And fog, too.

I have such a short tongue that professionals have said it’s amazing that I don’t have a speech impediment. I’m alright with it, but I might feel inadequate if I were a lesbian.

The fact that speech is spelled with two E’s and speak is spelled with an EA doesn’t make any sense to me.

I take a lot of baths. With bubbles. I don’t see the point in a bath without bubbles. I do not wash my hair in the bath. Ever.